Marriage and “settling down”

I have at last come to a concrete decision not to get married and to get on with life. Those who know me would know that we have been trying for the past 6 years to no avail.

I got ‘engaged’ in the south indian sense twice and both broke down; first coz the guy was being forced into marriage and second coz the guy was worried about getting a visa. Getting a visa!! In this day and age!

As my dad said, in his days, people got married then worried about how to get the spouse over. In this day and age, it’s resolve everything, make sure nothing is pending and then get married.

Anyway, I have been putting of a lot of things due to this. Partly coz I don’t like to inconvenience people and going ahead with some plans which may have to be stopped if marriage happens sounds like a lot of trouble for others. True, others don’t give a damn but I did. Not anymore.

Thus, starting with my plans of taking up part time teaching. It’s high time I start giving back to society. Some do so monetarily, some via volunteering, I choose teaching. I have also decided to sign up for art classes; my last ditch effort to try my hand at painting.

Lastly, music. I have always wanted to learn the Veena. It’s a difficult instrument to learn and not at all easy to carry around, but it’s been a dream of mine to learn and and I think it time I started on that.

Teaching; I have applied. The other two? In December. Unless plans change…..


I love poetry and used to try my hand at it. Most of them have been posted here but sadly, they are few and far between.

Poetry gives a freedom in language which prose does not. Poetry also allows for allegories at will and the raw nature of thought. However, the beauty of poetry is that this raw thought can be as primal or as evolved as we want it. In prose, one can write elegantly to mean what actually happens. English romantic fictions of the 18th century are a good example. They talk about romance and the carnal instincts of characters without being in your face and vulgar. Poetry also allows for this with a major difference; it’s much easier.

I am not going to start having resolutions on how I am going to write 1 poem per day etc as that’s absolutely not going to work. The hope is to start writing more often and start dabbling in poetry soon.

Wish me luck 🙂

Gardens of the Moon

Prequel to the earlier post about Memories of Ice, there is my liking for the Gardens of the Moon; a tale from the Malazan Book of the Fallen.

This is the first book of the series and I have lost count of the number of times I have read it. I especially like this book as it’s not got a lot of action and leaves a lot of room for imagination. However, it’s not too away from reality. The other books talk about the Divers or philosophies of the Frokrul Assail, which sometimes are difficult to imagine.

I also like this book as it has my favourite character: Anomander Rake. Rake is humane but coldly just. He feels for people’s feelings, has empathy but does not hesitate to meet out justice where he feels it’s due. He is also powerful but vulnerable in the sense that he is unable to give his people the inspiration for live and unable to fulfill their basic need; home. This gnaws at him and he mentions this in not so many words in his conversation with Baruk.

As put by someone in one of the forumns;

“In the grey world of Malaz he is, ironically and purposefully so, the only “white” character. He does not need to develop, he’s already as perfect as Erikson can allow a character to be

He had 300.000 years to develop, now he is a badass who knows what he is doing, and knows why he is doing it. He kills, but only for a worthy cause. He is capable of every ounce of self-sacrifice that his people and his love might require, and he literally bears on his shoulders the weight of every sin, every mistake and weakness of both himself and the Andii for an impossibly long time. He does not order, he but asks.

And every single time he suffers because of the price his friends will pay for their loyalty.”

Mid year reviews

I am going to have my mid-year review with my boss tomorrow and propose some points of action which she may potentially be uncomfortable with. The principle POA being: I want to move into a different role in a different geography.

Moving to a different country has been in my mind for a very long time but I have been putting it off for one reason; it’s way out of my comfort zone.

I got comfortable here, I have been living here for 20+ years and I know how stuff works. I know how the people behave, how the transport works, the tax structure, the culture, the stereotypes. I can go to the grocery store with my eyes closed as I not only know the route but also know how heavy traffic will be at various time of the day.

A new city cannot be taken for granted, nothing is known and everything is new. In addition to personal discomfort is the professional discomfort; new work-culture, people, process etc.

However I have decided that it’s time I take the plunge; hence the talk with my boss. Wish me luck!

Blogging interest

I seem to like changing a blog theme and look/feel more than actually blogging. I have given up counting the number of times I made resolutions and plans to blog. The plans ranged from setting frequency to threatening dire consequences; nothing worked.

The one thing that did work was the A-Z challenge. It was fun blogging around an anchor as they get’s the juices flowing but otherwise I find it a challenge to blog about routine stuff.

Thus am not going to make another resolution, which I know I will not keep. Instead am just going to blog as and when I feel like it.


5 July 2016

I failed in the A-Z challenge; big time. Sure, I can give dozens of excuses but the end result still is that I failed. Thus, no excuses shall prevail.

I have been numbed by news. Actually let me start again. In early June, I left for a 2 week vacation to India. For the whole 2 weeks, my only digital communication was the following: 1) check work email after waking and before bed 2) answer phone calls when travelling or outside house.

There was no TV at home, no internet, no newspaper. Thus the only outside news is what the autorikshaw drivers talked about or what was really big (nothing). And it was gratifying.

I think we fail to see the negative impact the constantly negative news has on us. Also, that fact that we find ourselves obligated to be online and communicable 24 hours means that we miss out on other simple but far more valuable pleasures in life; chatting with friends and family, observing the city while travelling, building up conversations with strangers etc.

One can argue that we need to know what’s happening in the world, especially when others are suffering in bombs and explosions. Another argument is also that these perpetrators are encouraged to carry on because of the news importance they get. Either way, the impact on a layman’s daily life is unmistakable.

Personally, I also find that reading and being online too much numbs my senses. I have a dozen ideas to write about in the most eloquent manner before I go to bed; sometimes, I even jot them out. But the eloquence and sequence of thought disappear when I actually sit down to write. This is partially because I end up writing after finishing the day’s ritual of reading news.

Henceforth, I am going to try something. Read the headlines, and stop reading otherwise. Let’s see if my creativity improves. 🙂


O: Oriental and Occidental

When I was in consulting, the first thing we needed to do when we were placed on project is to determine if the client is Oriental-oriented or Occidental-Oriented.

Oriental-oriented meaning give reasons first, conclusion last

Occidental-oriented meaning give conclusion first, reason last

This was important as delivery approach determined how much buy-in we had from the clients, which in turn determined how much follow-on projects we get. It was not easy, as with all MNCs in Asia, our clients also usually had oriental culture with occidental-oriented top leader. Thus we had to tailor our approach depending on who we were speaking to. The challenge came when we did workshops or final presentations. These events were usually attended by the top leader as well as his direct sub-ordinates, who are usually locals…resulting in tense and hilarious situations sometimes 🙂

Anyway, now that I am in the industry, I realized that this is one of the most important lessons I learnt. Determining if my boss / colleagues are oriental or occidental and approaching them accordingly determines the success of my initiative. In fact, I can confidently say that 90% of the initiative success depends on this.

I also realize that this approach determines a lot of other factors; e.g. my response time/decisiveness/assertiveness etc which in turn affect perception. And as we know; perception is reality. Occidental people tend to make decisions faster as the reason justifies their conclusion while oriental people do not know the conclusion. That’s a gross generalization but I noticed it works in most cases.

Which one are you? Oriental or Occidental?