Peculiarities of expectation

For as long as I could remember, I wanted to start a family.

I remember in school, when I was in Sec 3, the students who took French as a second language had free periods during second language classes. One day, the topic came to how babies are born. With the confidence only a 15 year old total ignorant girl can muster, I spoke up and said, “I have done a lot of thinking on this. Babies come from the belly button of course!”.

In university, my aim was to get grades but working life was never in my charts. I wanted to settle down, have kids and then do what I want in life, be it reading, starting my own enterprise or just lazing the life away. However, fate has played a very peculiar game with me. You see, in my life, and obviously in my experience, things have always worked out opposite to what I wished. If I wish for good health in anticipation for some adventurous travel, I will most assuredly fall sick. If I wish to get sick to escape doing something, I will be in the pink of health.

This peculiar trait is not only applicable to small things; in fact, it is most decidedly not applicable to small things but is highly prevalent in life changing events. At the age of 34, past my prime, I have neither a family to call me own, nor kids, not a very high flying career. However, if I compare career with personal life, career has done a far better job -: totally opposite to what I wanted.

Thus I tried what any rationale human being would do; think opposite thoughts! And guess what, they turned out correct if the original “opposite” thought was negative and inverse if it was positive.

Faith? Or Destiny?