It’s slightly more than 3 months since I have been married and a month since we have been living together and the journey has been rocky to say the least.
Marriage is an institution for a reason; it needs time, effort and sheer hard work. When you add in the additional detail of an arranged marriage, then adjustment and the realization of adjustments needed become vital.
My beginning has been rocky, to put in mildly. It start off with the adjustment being severely one-sided. He eats when he wants with no regard for my needs. He eats what he buys, without asking me if I want any. He watches what he wants with no regard for my tastes.
Folks around me say he does that coz he is very used to being alone and has lost the sense of what it’s like to live with another person. My argument is that living alone does not leads to a complete degeneration of social skills. Asking a person if they are hungry before helping yourself to food is basic decency; even if you’ve been living alone.
Man is just self-centered. The tipping point was when he said he considered this a live-in relationship and thus expects all expenses to be split. How about when we have kids? Who is going to pay for the emotional roller coaster ride I’ll have? How about when I cook? When I clean house?
Man seems to love his money—LOVE his money. Every cent I ask him and he makes a face. It’s a good thing that I work and am able to fend for myself, otherwise it is gonna be crazy.
This is supposed to be a sweet time, a time of dreams, aspirations, hope, planning, re-planning. I am looking forward to it but with a lot of trepidation. Will he be as I dreamt? No. As I wished? No. As I expected? Maybe. Should I be open minded? Yes. Giving in? Sometimes…
So many choices, so many paths but only a few result in a great life. All in all, an interesting journey it’s going to be 🙂
I am facing more and more colleagues who feel a high, though misguided sense of entitlement. they go about bossing everyone or expecting others to do their work. Such an incident happened a few hours ago
Colleague: A, the link to the website is wrong
Me (A): You mean this link? This was given by B, who is in your team
Colleague: How can he give you the link? He is so new
Me (A): Well I presume he would have liaised with you guys. Anyway we have C’s approval
Colleague: Well it’s wrong
Me: Can you guys as a team discuss what link you want put up and let me know?
Colleague: Love, am trying to help you….that’s the link I gave!
Me: I got the new link you gave but is the team OK with it?
Colleague: Love, am trying to help you! Anyway, it’s not my business. I have urgent work. Bye
What is anger and why do we get angry? This is been a question which keeps coming to my mind every time I get angry; which is quite often. As a close colleague once said “You ‘don’t suffer fools do you?”, I get angry if people are not rational and logical and start getting emotional.
However, herein lies the question. An issue which is rational to be may be irrational to another and vice versa. What’s to say my though are superior to another?
A good example is a recent incident which took place. I got invited to watch pole-dancing, a form of dance associated with bars and seedy night clubs. This was neither, it’s a legitimate school catering to interested students who want to learn this for fun and exercise.
My folks hit the roof. Not at the fact that am doing it (am not) but at the fact that am attending a show and watching it! This blew me up and shit hit the fan.
The question is, who is right? Am I right for being open-minded and not passing judgements on a form of dance which unfortunately is used in circumstances not acceptable to society? Or are they justified in following the 3 monkeys principle? Or are both of us right in our own way? Or, are both wrong?
Who actually decides this? The world currently seems to be quite wacked up, it’s being led by narrow minded people, or narrow minded in my sense. But who is right? The guy who is just trying to protect his people above all rest? Or the group who says that people are people and geographic demarcations in this day and age should not occur?
Philosophy is a great thing, it forces you to think. Ultimately, it also forces you to be tolerant with everything and anything coz ultimately, it can be rationally explained. However, philosophy is a double edged sword. If you are the only tolerant one in a sea of intolerance, it ultimately becomes you who are intolerant.
It’s been hardly 3 months since I made a resolution to paint every week; and that resolution has happened a grand total of 3 times. True, I did travel for 2 weeks, but the rest?
The important thing in resolutions is mental willpower; the will and determination to keep it up. This is especially true if the task is difficult; may it be labour intensive or skill intensive. Both require an effort to learn before we can reap benefits. In this day and age, it’s the will to apply effort to learn that is lacking, and am no different.
The other resolution I had was no sugar. I manage to maintain it till the day before yesterday, when I downed a huge, delicious chocolate cake for my birthday 😀
Am going to try to resurrect my resolutions; let’s see
On a sidenote, an interesting article on the independent on how intelligence people are lazy!
There is one major deviation in this picture; I did not draw it first but painted it directly. The mis-shaped vase shows the effect of this but I realized that most painters do not draw. I think I should end up drawing till I get a hang of this though.